Posts Tagged ‘ESRI’

The ESRI – A Cult?

The Economic and Social Research Institute (ESRI) has said the Irish economy should grow at the same modest level as last year and that austerity is working and that there is no alternative to austerity.   RTE News

The ESRI will grab attention in any way it possibly can.

Self-immolation and blubbing is not out of the question. The ESRI  like to kiss mirrors a lot.  ESRI-ers will interrupt conversation to talk (and to listen to themselves), and they will place themselves bodily in the way of someone who is trying to leave before the ESRI-er is finished saying what he or she needs to say. All ESRI-ers want parades and flashing headlines when they publish ‘reports’.

Not known or commented about is the startling fact that ESRI-ers never marry because no one is up to their standards – not even fellow ESRI-ers!. On the very rare occasion that they do marry, they keep their spouses locked in the conservatory extension.

ESRI-ers need and crave physical affection at all times; unfortunately, they can’t find any because everyone thinks they are irritating idiots.

ERIS-ers,it is said, open doors by screaming at them quite loudly. They expect their clique of clappers to applaud when they enter, and leave, a room.

Actual humility, or owning up to being complete idiots frighten ESRI-ers. That is why Jesus was a Capricorn, Buddha was an Aries, and so forth … by-the-by, my Philosophy lecturer was a Pyrex – she was  a test-tube baby … indeed it is believe that she was the first ever Philosophy Lecturer concocted in a test-tube.

However, “radical cult leader” is not out of the question for ESRI-ers – and that’s plain in Ireland.

ESRI-ers love to hang posters of their reports on the walls of their ensuites – something to do while their doing their business.

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